“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brene Brown
My word for 2015 was AUTHENTICITY. It was a powerful word choice and intention. AUTHENTICITY got me through some brutal moments. Some amazingly beautiful ones too. “Am I showing up?” was my constant companion last year. “Am I being honest with myself? Do I have the courage to be authentic? Does this choice feed my soul, faith and spirituality? Is this decision from love?”
I poked under rocks, around trees and in magical places. I broke my heart and soul wide open, more than once. Sewed, glued and gently patched it – and me – back up. AUTHENTICITY led to a collection of choices that manifested into a lot of soul work. Alone and with others. It took a team. It’s still taking a team.
I braved more than I’ve braved in a good long time. AUTHENTICITY challenged me to work, find the courage and grace to love unconditionally. From a different place of self. Soul.
I owned I’m a doer. That I place much of my self-worth and value in the doing, rather than in the being. AUTHENTICITY slowed me down. Had me work to not rush to do or for an end. It showed me that being is as powerful a place as doing. It’s a quieter place filled with grace and compassion. Faith.
AUTHENTICITY led me down the path and to the practice of Forgiveness. Forgiveness of choices that have hurt others, hurt myself, and the hurts and choices of others to me. It has been no less poignant because of the work. Only more so. More loving. More forgiveness. It’s on going. It’s a lifetime practice.
I faced some hard truths. Owned them. Some took longer than others. AUTHENTICITY gifted me a hard self-truth —- That I lost myself in the process of loving someone else and others so much, I forgot that I was special too.
AUTHENTICITY has been one of my hardest and most insightful Word of the Year to date. We’re not done yet. Instead of letting it go in favor of a new word, AUTHENTICITY is coming with me in the New Year.
So what about 2016?
My new word did not come easily. I tried several on. Discarded them all. Then I watched The Anatomy of Trust. Watched it again. Then again. I took notes. Thought about it. Felt uncomfortable with it. I watched it again. I felt my spine tingle like a tuning fork. It broke me wide open. Again. Quite frankly it had me at B… so I’m stepping into it.
I’ll be breaking TRUST down into B.R.A.V.I.N.G. Exploring and revealing my own anatomy of TRUST. I’ll be learning about and setting Boundaries. What they are. What they mean to me. I’m getting clearer on Reliability. Not on the saying, but the doing. Do you do what you say? Do I do what I say? I’ll look deep into the eyes of Accountability, mine and others. Can I? Can you? Own it, apologize for it and make amends if needed? I’ll be building my soul and heart house, shoring up my Vault. Will I respect my story? Can I hold it sacred? Will you? I’ll keep asking myself if I’m acting from a place of Integrity. Am I living in Non-judgement? Of self. Others. Can I come from a place of Generosity grounded in grace, laughter, compassion and love?
I’ll be working with small, everyday moments. Reminding myself that, I’m someone special too.
I’ll be working alone and with my team. I (we) will look hard at what it means to trust someone and what it means to trust myself.
May it be so.