Love and Mindfullness

“It's when we embrace our dark and light that we learn to love ourselves. When we love our self, we can love others. Fully. Completely. " Anonymous

I believe that to love (of self and others) requires mindfulness, a bit of selfishness, acts of self-compassion and a willingness to be vulnerable. That we come to loving others when we learn to love ourselves, wholly first.

It’s taken me some time absorb this. To practice compassion, self-love and mindfulness for self first in order to truly give and love to those I do love

I’m learning to be in the moment. Celebrate the now. Remembering that in stillness is an abundance of action. It’s been a process, to go inward to crack open to grace as I open up to places and spaces I’ve not allowed myself to go for a while. To own that the choices I’ve made the last several years needed to be made. Knowing that in the making I’d be upending other lives, not just my own. But in the end knowing, intuitively and in my soul that I needed to do.

I’ve cried enough tears of sorrow and loss to fill an ocean. But I’ve also relearned to laugh. Truly launch. I’ve seen the power and joy in the beauty of a sunrise/sunset from the saddle surrounded by friends. Celebrated the music of a child’s laugh. Run in the redwoods. Swum side-by-side in the lakes of Oregon with my twin sister, watched a storm come across the open range with my brother. Beheld dolphins gliding through the ocean at dawn. Climbed to a peak in Yosemite to view the breathtaking wonder of this amazing gift we call Earth. Lazily listened to birdsong sing me awake and felt the moon glow gentle me into sleep

I am reminded daily this life is amazing, filled with grace, love and joy. That each of us deserves this.

In all this I’ve come to honor that my hardest journey the last year has been coming to terms with the knowledge that two people I loved are no longer present in my life. One living. One passed. Shown me the path to my own happiness. Both fill me with memories that have dark and light to them, but it’s the light that fills my soul, always. I’ve owned they are simply – of my heart. Both gifted me with lessons of love that brought me to love of self and the strength to love unconditionally. There is another such love left in me. It is enough.

I’ve worked through trauma, pain and fears that have built over the years. Come through to the other side. I have few too no regrets. I’ve given so many things in my life my all. Some of them didn’t work out. Others did. Amazingly so. This is the balance of life. That it takes Courage to live an honest, loving, mindful life.

It’s with gratitude that I wake up each day realizing that each small act, thought sent my way is precious and a gift.

We can and do come through to the other side.

I’m so blessed to be on this path to an amazing life, adventure with my family and tribe.

It is enough.